The Never Ending Contradiction That Is Me

Have A Lovely Weekend

Yep, that's right folks, I'm off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Ireland! Before you groan in exasperation at the inconsequential nature of my Blog, let me assure you that I have not mentioned it simply to furnish you with an itinerary the length of a prize winning marrow. Oh no my invisible friend (if there is even one of you) I have mentioned it because my job is so insanely boring that I would rather waffle on at you than stare into the nothingless web, waiting for someone to make a mistake that I have to fix - although having said that I think it would be fair to say that I aint gonna have to wait long!! Muppets!! Mind you I call them muppets, I have become so drained of mental stimulation I am soon gonna look like this: Chained to my Plastic lacquered, plywood desk answering stupid peoples, stupid questions. God I had such high hopes for my future. People are always talking about the dangers of under nurturing children. Not giving them enough encouragement, not...

Well after my very full on rant last time I thought it time to lighten the mood. One day Shiv went back to Bristol to see her friends, whilst there she thought to her self........ I know what, today I'll get me hair cut - a normal enough thing to decide to do I think you would agree? This decision came not too long after a rather enjoyable lunch with some friends fuelled by a generous helping of vino etc. So off Shivers goes to the hair dresser. She sits there, has a glass of wine in the swanky reception and then goes and talks with her stylists. I go through the colouring I want done, we agree on three blonds and a brown - all perfectly standard. Colourist goes and the stylist turns up. Hello I toot, we discuss my hair and I am VERY clear that what I would like is a simple trim, I like my hair the way it is!! She agrees to this and fucks off. All is going completely to plan. I have the dye put on my hair, the usual burning sensation ensues, eyes going blurry - I like it. I get giv...

Well there it is, I think I might actually be mad . A persons mental state is so hard to gage, the complexities of the human mind are by nature subjective, so how does one define insanity? Admittedly eating pebbles or thinking you are the Dali Lama when in fact you are a supermarket checkout slave is a pretty good indication. But what if you do nothing overtly strange and yet feel like the ground is swallowing you up, like something is sucking at your very existence and willing you to scream at the most inopportune of times? Lately I feel like I have no control over myself, like everything I aspire to be is beyond my grasp. In a world filled with horrors and suffering how is it possible for someone with so much to feel so low? I have roof over my head, I have a genuinely amazing boyfriend and a perfectly adequate job. I think it would be fair to say that there has been some fucked up shit in my life thus far, but in all honesty who can't!! Furthermore I think that my life is comp...

Thought it might be an idea to spruce the Blog up a little, and what better way than with a happy dragon!!! :) Just as a warning to those of you who don’t know me well (if there is indeed ANYONE reading this), it is pictures like this that will dominate this place. I am a true believer in escapism, so if you have come here for political enlightenment, mental taxation or a word of sense I suggest you "Next Blog" the hell out outa here. In fact while I'm here (and given that I can’t get a picture up on my profile yet) perhaps a photo of me might be in order: Just so we're clear, I don’t always wear enough makeup to suffocate a whale and hang around with trannies (see bald mascara applying man on the right). This was taken during a production ("Lovie" for local Panto) of Sleeping Beauty. In which I played the beauty herself no less :) I got more than a big head and bad skin out of that though. I also managed to bag the baddy! Yep that’s right in t...

So who am I? That’s a much more complex question than you might imagine. I hardly know. Sometimes I manage to convince myself that I’m a normal grounded young woman. But what do you know..... it turns out that I’m a weird, scatty, indecisive, dyslexic mix of about 17 different people. And none of them are grounded!! (Just to clarify I’m not actually a schizophrenic - well i hope not) So, a slightly easier question: why the Blog? It’s essentially a stolen idea (as are most I suppose) I read someone else’s and it occurred to me that maybe “Blogging” could do what no end of concentrating, educating or abuse of illicit substances managed to: organise my thoughts and chill me the fuck out. Brief history of Shivvers (That’s me): Irish, born and raised in England, grew up in the bizarrely endearing shit hole that is South London, but Bristol, that’s home for me, in my mind. That’s where I did my growing and made the best friends a girl could ever have. Currently living in Gibraltar (That’s m...