The Never Ending Contradiction That Is Me

I have been pondering something…. Someone I know has abandoned the world of Bloggery having quite accurately pointed out that airing your personal feelings, happenings and aspirations in a public domain is not necessarily a good thing. I think I would go further and say that it is a dangerous, self indulgent form of denial. Yet here I am airing away. There was a time (for me at least) when I would work through thoughts in the real world via discussion and action…. now it is often the case that I spill here and then consider the subject filed. For me, one of the purposes of this place was to help organise my thoughts. There has been so much change for me over the last two years that I was at the point where I could not have a defined thought. Imagine if you will a fast flowing stream of objects as if in a jet stream, hurtling by, leaving just blurs of colour. I would either be unable to grasp from the stream a single subject or emotion to reflect on or having determined it imposs...

Pregnant women can not operate Washing machines..... Things that are bad: I turned my beautiful Pashmina to felt, then the cat was sick on it. Several days later I turned my almost (Hinty hint) Mother-In-Law's angora jumper to felt. These things are bad.

It has been too long!! Aside form my hideous segway creation I have been completely useless in the update ways. There has been so much going on. A trip to the Ooo K see my mum and brother… to show off my ever growing bump, scans of said bump and other general baby related activities. I am also innately lazy so there is always that to throw into the mix. The general lackadaisical attitude remains, but there is something else about me these days. A new found determination, focus or something. Perhaps it is the impending arrival… There is no harm in being a skint, hobo, dreamer when it is you alone who may have to sacrifice those beautiful shoes or forgo the fifth muffin on your lunch break. I had always envisaged my family in a nice house ( with stairs ), a scruffy garden filled with flowers and plenty of places to dig and build dens, money enough to go on holiday puddle jumping. I’m not talking plasma TV, ice making fridge money, just enough to provide the basics with some ...