Vanity Fair

I have been pondering something…. Someone I know has abandoned the world of Bloggery having quite accurately pointed out that airing your personal feelings, happenings and aspirations in a public domain is not necessarily a good thing.

I think I would go further and say that it is a dangerous, self indulgent form of denial. Yet here I am airing away. There was a time (for me at least) when I would work through thoughts in the real world via discussion and action…. now it is often the case that I spill here and then consider the subject filed.

For me, one of the purposes of this place was to help organise my thoughts. There has been so much change for me over the last two years that I was at the point where I could not have a defined thought. Imagine if you will a fast flowing stream of objects as if in a jet stream, hurtling by, leaving just blurs of colour. I would either be unable to grasp from the stream a single subject or emotion to reflect on or having determined it impossible, just sit vacant, staring at yellow animated morons. Filling hours of potential energy with nothing.

This Blog gave me an opportunity to pick any one of these beginnings of a thought and explore it in a place where interruptions, counter opinions and judgement were non existent. This allowed me to whittle my torrent of feelings into intelligible ideas, thus giving me that little more time to actually live.

Why it had to be here in a place accessible to the public I’m not sure. Being a creative person I value the ability to use images as a part of my expression, something that can not easily be done in the pages of a private diary. To record all that is here locally as a document seems pointless, it is as if the possibility of serving a purpose is sufficient justification for placing these words on the publicly available internet. After all… if I were to be writing all this and not sharing it, It would be a self-indulgent waist of time.Publishing it… well that makes it topical and valid right? Otherwise I would be vain, and I couldn't possibly be vain could I?

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